Mental health and pregnancy: ‘I couldn’t hold my baby for more than a minute’

Topic: Mental health and pregnancy: ‘I couldn’t hold my baby for more than a minute’

Seaneen Molloy was excited to discover she was expecting her second baby during lockdown. With a history of mental illness, she carefully planned the pregnancy, but when her baby arrived she experienced the “terrifyingly rapid” onset of a crisis which left her unable to hold baby Jack.

Having a baby is supposed to be a joyful experience, and for lots of women it is. However, up to 20% experience mental ill health during pregnancy and the year after birth. Tragically, suicide is the leading cause of death in new mothers.

Women who already have a mental illness are at a high risk of relapse during pregnancy – that’s women like me.

I have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and an anxiety disorder. This meant that pretty much from the moment I became pregnant, the perinatal mental health team were involved.

This includes specialist midwives, psychiatrists, nurses and social workers whose goal is to support women to stay well, and intervene quickly if they don’t.

Normally, I manage my mental health by being careful with my sleep and leading a pretty boring life away from overwork and alcohol, but pregnancy chucks in a host of factors you have no control over.

Hormones rage through your body, wreaking havoc upon your mood, your energy levels and your ability to keep your lunch down. You either can’t stay awake or are awake for hours – peeing a thousand times and being hoofed by tiny feet.

I had managed to stay well, and off medication, for years, but in the run-up to birth antipsychotic medication was introduced to prevent postpartum psychosis. This can cause women to develop delusions and lose touch with reality.

It’s the one I was most at risk of developing due to my history of bipolar disorder, but in the end, I experienced postnatal anxiety.

Topic Discussed: Mental health and pregnancy: ‘I couldn’t hold my baby for more than a minute’

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